Coping with Anger by Anne Shirley

Anger Management Techniques

            Anger is a normal, usually healthy, emotion felt by all humans. When it gets out of control it can lead to severe problems in your relationships at home, at work, and in all areas of your life. It is important to know that the emotion you have before getting angry is SAD which can help you understand and control your anger.

Coping with anger is the healthy way to rid yourself of destructive behaviors so that you do not hurt others and regret your actions and words afterwards. You can avoid harmful behaviors such as, yelling, saying cruel words, or hitting as you can never take back these actions which ultimately can destroy your relationships and your quality of life.

Some things you can do to stop and calm down are:

  • Get away from the person and situation you are angry with
  • Count down (or up) from 10
  • Mindfulness Activities (Visual Imagery, muscle relaxation, yoga etc.),
  • Take a deep breath and blow the air out, hard, to send the angry feeling out of you
  • Rest/Relax
  • Use humor
  • Cry
  • Exercise-go for a walk, ride a bike
  • Do an activity you enjoy (gardening, take a walk, draw, listen to music etc.)
  • Write a letter to the person you are angry with

These techniques will help you think before you speak. Once you have calmed down, talk about your frustration in a non-confrontational way. You can use “I Messages” to state clearly your feelings without hurting others or trying to control or put the blame on them. For example, say, “I’m upset because after dinner you left without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do anything to help.” This is a WIN WIN resolution and not a LOSE LOSE situation. If you find you need help with your anger, please reach out and one of our therapists can help you find tools to cope more effectively.

Anne Trapp Shirley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Supervisor in Orlando, Florida. She has 20 years of experience encouraging clients by sending a message of hope that they can overcome life’s obstacles that get in the way of living their best life!