In my years of experience, I have seen many reasons couples come to seek my help through therapy. A common worry for couples is they feel a divorce or a break up is impending, or that there are major problems for them to seek therapy. This is absolutely not the case! Most couples come to seek help on how to handle conflicts and learn how to communicate more effectively. Many come to restore the bond they had or may feel their bond is mostly stable and want to make their bond even stronger. Some couples want to get advice on parenting skills. Couples also come to therapy for more serious relationship issues such as infidelity and trust issues.
When couples seek my help, they may feel reluctant to seek out help due to fears that they will be singled out, criticized, blamed or dismissed. This will not happen with my care or with the care of a competent therapist. I will make each partner feel safe and at ease. Our relationship inspires, not hinders, you to open up and deepens your bond. Both partners will feel heard and supported.
It takes enormous strength to seek help. Couples can’t always “fix” their problems on their own. As a couple’s therapist, I help couples gain another perspective to a problem they have not been able to see for themselves as they are too close to the issues. Romantic partners are not always objective when couples are inside the relationship. A couple’s therapist is on the outside looking in. This new perspective along with my expertise can guide couples to help them with their relationship struggles.
Couples find themselves happily surprised when they go back and compare their life before couples’ therapy and see the progress they have made. Their defensiveness and resentment fade away, their communication is honest, they feel emotionally secure, and intimacy is revived. It may be hard and will take work on both sides but courage to try and to be open is all that is needed!
Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’
Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’ – Erich Fromm
Anne Trapp Shirley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Supervisor in Orlando, Florida. She specializes in couples counseling and has 20 years of experience encouraging clients by sending a message of hope that they can overcome life’s obstacles that get in the way of living their best life!